Different

I've been wanting to write for a month or two now because little thoughts keep coming to me. Thoughts of depth and thoughts of excitement. But when I write I feel like I need to be going through a breakthrough of sorts in order for me to share it with you. So here it is. Me, sitting in an airport, again. Reflecting on everything in my life and wishing for something different. Why is it that we experience so few times in our lives where we feel truly happy? Why is it that we are always wishing for at least one thing to be different? These are questions I really wish I didn't have to answer. Yet here they are, looking me in the face and telling me to think. Right now I want to be in San Fransisco. In this very moment. Last summer I spent less than two days in that glorious city with my family and right now I'm looking into how I can move there. But I know this moment will pass. Right now I want school to be over. I long for a vacation I can come back from where homework and deadlines aren't confronting me. But I know this moment will pass. Right now I feel like crying; because things aren't as I want them to be. Even though if I were to leave the life I had at this moment I would miss it, I still yearn for a different time. But I know this moment will pass. 

This is a place I wish never existed. This place forces me to believe that what I have right now isn't good enough and that there is always something better. When that is a blatant lie. I hate it when I believe it. Right now I am trying with all I have to find joy in the things of now and be patient for the things of the future. I think often I miss out on the glorious moments of the present when I desire other things. Just now I witnessed a 3 year old blow a kiss to her dad as he left the gate area. And that is the sweetest thing that I could have seen at this time. Innocent and loving now. That is what I strive for on Wednesday March 16th, 2016. A clear mind and a loving disposition. I know I will always look to different things, and I think that is a part of life. But my present is my life and I want to live there. Will you join me in that? I know I'm not alone. 

Suggested Music -- Colour // by: Bright City

Suggested Book -- Miles to Cross // by: Mike Howerton

May your coffee be caffeinated,

Sarah